Dear Abby: I don’t want my son to marry his shrewd girlfriend

Dear ABBY: My son is engaged to a girl we all love, but recently there has been a problem. My husband was at their house while my son’s fiancee was finishing getting ready for date night. (They live 10 minutes from us, and my husband has been there often since his retirement.) When she was done, she went downstairs, told my husband they were leaving, and ordered my son to follow her to the car. My son didn’t say anything at the time. This upset my husband a lot because he values ​​time with our son, who is our only child.

Later, my husband and I spoke to her, saying that we did not appreciate her attitude. She countered by saying that they have a backup and my husband is overwhelmed and oblivious to the concept that other people don’t always have time to engage with him. She then brought up several instances in which my husband made my son late for something. When we asked our son, we were shocked to find that he agreed! He said he didn’t want to bring it himself because it made him uncomfortable. My husband likes to talk, but I don’t see it as a problem.

Abby, I’m worried. I find her behavior extremely inconsiderate. I don’t want my son to marry a bossy woman who will order him around and refuse to see our side. She said she will only talk to us about this further if we agree to see a counselor to discuss “all our issues”. I didn’t know him HAVE the issues. My son never said anything before, but when we asked him, he said he agreed with her. what to do – GOOD MOTHER-IN-LAW

DEAR VHHHDR: Take a step back and stop trying to defend your husband and your son who should have spoken up before his fiancee felt she had to. If you want a relationship with your son and his future wife, take her suggestion to see a family therapist together. Doing so may give each of you an opportunity to air your grievances and come to an agreement that can satisfy you all and prevent more problems of this type in the future.

Dear ABBY: For years I have traveled with my cousin on my two timeshares. She is now in her mid-70s and has become grumpy and uncomfortable. She often complains of various health issues, and there may be some insanity involved. I’m more of a stoic, so I find this grating, especially during a vacation where I want to relax. I’d really rather she didn’t come. How do I discover this in a compassionate way? She tends to get emotional. – READY FOR A CHANGE IN TEXAS

Dear GATI: When the topic of a vacation comes up with your cousin, tell her you understand she’s not feeling as well as she used to and ask what her doctor is doing about it. If she says she hasn’t talked to a doctor about it, tell her you’d like her to ahead you travel together because it’s clear to you that she doesn’t enjoy these vacations anymore, which makes you enjoy them less.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.